RECAP: Teen Wolf – Tattoo

4 Jun

This post will contain spoilers for June 3rd’s episode of Teen Wolf titled Tattoo 3×01. if you haven’t seen it and don’t wish to be spoiled, go away! If you are cool with that, come and enjoy me ranting out a few things about the new episode.

Also this is long so settle in and grab some popcorn.

First off, let me apologize to anyone who has ever found this blog by trying to discover whether Scott is an Alpha or not. When the mysterious badass female called Scott an Alpha, I know I was in shock as well. According to others, something happened in the previous season to suggest that he already is an alpha…? But if anyone else knows something, I’d go to them first. I was like LOL WHAT SCOTT ALPHA SINCE WHEN.

Scott McCall, Scott, Teen Wolf, Tyler Posey, Teen Wolf Season 3, Tyler

I’ll believe it when I see it. (Screenshot from Youtube)

This show has so many lol-tastic issues (like how the Alpha twins merged together. Like, I understand the lack of shirts because they’re MERGING but the pants are fine? Bruce Banner, you are not), so when actually problems show up, they stick to me and it bothers me. A lot. For example, the kickass black woman (known in the rest of this as KBW CAUSE WE DON’T KNOW HER NAME) from this episode. She better not be dead. I’m holding out on hope that she’s okay because we didn’t see a body (and you know, for supernatural shows, that counts for something. Or, even in terms of seeing the body, IE Jackson, it doesn’t matter), but I’m still upset for even thinking for a minute that she might be dead.

meagan tandy, teen wolf, bad ass black woman, aw yeah

I had to literally search Kickass black woman in Teen Wolf to find her. (image: http://alphapackalpha.tumblr.com/)

We don’t even know her name, but we know that she is badass enough to pull herself off drugs to stumble away, successfully fight off like five alphas, and have awesome weapons. She better come back. Though I was dying a little bit at the fact that her hair looked so nice in all of this, blood matting aside. I wish I could kick some ass and have my hair look that good.

Meagan Tandy, teen wolf, bad ass black woman, the girl

Jealousy doesn’t actually begin to describe it. (image: http://armorforsterek.tumblr.com/)

Isaac was pretty useless in this episode. I swear. KBW tells him to hang on, and he falls off immediately. Way to fail.

The twins were ridiculous as well. I couldn’t take them seriously beacause A) they are less than attractive, and B) as mentioned before, what the hell was up with that body merging. I seriously was laughing. And why do they merge together? They could just as easily kick ass a la the “twins” in The Social Network (I say “twins” cause it was one actor) but you knew that together and seperately, they could kick your ass. Also, I hope Ethan and Aiden (?) have good personalities to make up for their silly face. And to make up for being an Alpha. And for apparently dating Danny. Dun dun dun…

Ethan, aiden, ethan and aiden, alpha twins, teen wolf,

lol no thank you. (image: entertainment weekly)

And while speaking of body merging the CGI in the beginning of the episode was a bit embarrassing too. Like, laughably silly. Was using CGI cheaper than stunt doubles?

Scott’s tattoo was…actually, everything invovled with Scott’s tattoo was adorable. From the fact that it is Tyler Posey’s actual tattoo, to Stiles thinking it’s terrible, to how sad I would be if I spent that much money on a tattoo and it DISAPPEARED INTO MY SKIN. Man. I would be so mad. But the snark between the two of them made me glad that we didn’t have to witness the Stiles and Scott re-bonding moments and that we can just know that they’re good again. End of last season, I was afraid we’d have to deal with Stiles drifting away from Scott but you know what, suggesting a kanima looking tattoo is so too soon is kind of adorable.

Also, you’d think that Stiles would be able to handle a tattoo after having to deal with Derek and him ordering to cut off his wounded arm in the first season. Or creeping around and checking out dead bodies. Or reading police reports and following his dad to crime scenes. You would just think.

Dylan o'brien, stiles, teen wolf

At least, you’d think so. Nice fall, Dylan! (image: http://stilesmissedderek.tumblr.com/)

How the boys run into the girls is not only ridicolous but so sad. And Stiles, have you seriously not learned anything? No one in that situation wanted to talk. Rolling down your window does not help the situation at all. Even though I love your new hair cut. I really do. Saying I was sick of the buzz cut is rude, but… yeah I was sick of the buzz cut.

stiles, stiles stilinski, dylan o'brien,

You’re lucky you’re adorable, Stiles. (Image: http://simplystiles.tumblr.com/)

Oh and if the girls had continued driving (the competely empty road…?) when that deer had hit them, that would have been a terrible accident to luckily there was no one on the streets so both cars could dramatically stop and ponder the other.

Speaking of Lydia, Jackson. I suppose with his abrupt jump ship from the series, it makes sense that they had to do it that way, but man, I hate that. The old, “Oh he moved to a new city where we’ll never see him again.” thing. I really wish he had died and stayed dead last season. It would have had such more of an emotional impact instead of the power of love healed him NOW NEVER SPEAK HIS NAME AGAIN. Also London. That poor guy. Culture shock time!

Lydia being fierce and amazing is fierce and amazing. Though I was a little concerned when she called the freshman “Fresh MEN” and then I realized that she was right. There were no 14 -18 year olds in that school. All those “freshman” had to be at least 20 years old. No wonder kids in high school look so young WHEN 14 YEAR OLDS ARE PORTRAYED BY 20 YEARS OLDS.

high school, teen wolf, LIES AND SLANDER

HIGH SCHOOLERS DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT. (image: http://swingsetindecember.tumblr.com/)

Also the twins are ugly please stop trying to make me think that they’re attractive.

Scott’s revamp is actually even more attractive than Stiles. Stiles just had his hair done. Scott now reads a lot. … I mean, yeah, the bike,  the tattoo, and the muscles are nice but he reads! Also, my username is “cutebookworm.” Emphasis on the bookworm. And the word of the day that he tried to use in every day life! Oh how adorable. I do hope we get a chance to see him ace those PSATs and actually turn his life around for the better instead of ending up like Derek – taking care of 16 years olds in his family’s ruined house OOPS THAT’S SAD.

Scott McCall, Tyler Posey, READING. OMG, teen wolf

I love me a man that can/will read. A lot. (Image: zap2it.com)

Allison and her father talk about how she doesn’t have to start school if she doesn’t want to and man does anyone else want to hug Papa Argent? He has lost his wife, sister, and potentially, mountain ash hating father all within a year, and now his only family left is his daughter. His way of life is gone and he’s …wait. Did he ever have a job? Or is he just sitting around the school parking lot, waiting to pick Allison up because he has nothing to live for? Poor him. Maybe he and Derek should go for drinks to wallow in their mutal sadness (ignoring that Derek + his family killed off Chris’ family. And that Kate killed Derek’s family. Obviously).

Chris Argent, JR Bourne, teen wolf, this man needs a hug

HIS AWKWARD GRIN WAS SO AWKWARD he needs a hug. (image: http://martinesque.tumblr.com/)

New teacher in town! I wonder what happened to the Mr. Harris, the demon chemistry teacher. Did he die off? Will we never see him again? And the teacher has to be of some important. She was on camera for a vaugly long time. Regardless of the things she sees throughout the season, I think she’s awesome. That texting trick was fabulous, and if I’m ever a teacher I would do that. But… how did she get everyone’s numbers? Have I been out of high school that long?

MAYBE DEREK WILL STOP TROLLING 16 YEAR OLDS AND DATE HER???

Haley Webb, Ms. Blake

Wait, if she’s a teacher, that would mean Derek would be by the high school more… Aw crap. (image: hypable.com)

The possibilities are endless.

The parental units are fabulous and I need to see more of them in every episode. I’m so glad that Mama McCall has been able to help out (and apparently has in the past) with the werewolf issues in town, but seriously? Are we not going to bring the Sheriff in on the loop? You guys are a bunch of 16-17 year olds. A person in charge of police issues is only going to HELP you.

On another not, all the Alphas need to calm down. How did no one in Beacon Hills notice the people having claws instead of hands and feet? Like the fake female doctor Alpha (Kai). How dare she walk around a hospital barefoot. Is subtly an art lost on those with claws on their feet? Derek kicked ass while looking human. WHY CAN’T YOU… AT LEAST IN PUBLIC.

Felisha Terrell, kali, alpha kali, alpha, alpha pack

Yeah cause that’s not noticeable at all.. (image: http://halechester.tumblr.com/)

SPEAKING OF DEREK. THAT ENTRANCE. That was such a well done entrance. Man. I was dying. The slight turn, the sass, the look in his eye. I swear, Tyler has that scowl down. It’s like, I’m irritated but at the same time, I am flawless bow to me. And the music for the scene! Whoever edited that scene musically, it was really well done. The way the music had that throbbing beat while Derek turns back to look at Scott was great.

derek hale, tyler hoechlin, teen wolf, alpha, no, neck turn, turns

This show should be called “Derek Hale and the Dramatic Head Turns.” (image: http://felcieinfangirlland.tumblr.com/)

But whoever edited the video of the scene, I died. Scott dives for an elevator that had less than a hand width opening and lands in the elevator that the doors were suddenly open again. DID THE ALPHA OPEN THE DOORS FOR HIM. HOW POLITE.

Also Derek how did you know to go to the hospital where was your phone.

Welcome back, Hale House! Popular to werewolves, disgusting burnt wood and apparently wifi. Derek mentions that the county has taken over the house and… really? It’s taken over 7 years for anyone to touch that house? They just let a huge ass piece of nice property sit where they could have built up something else? Why not? Derek was at 18 years ago, and Laura had to be older than that. Legally they should have sold that property to the state. And if not, why is the county NOW taking it over? Is Derek being paid for the property? Does Peter have any say on the property because he’s technically alive again?

hale house, derek hale, the hale family, teen wolf

WHOSE BIKE IS THAT. (image: tumblr)

And here’s an interesting question. I’ve always assuming that Derek’s family was well off, considering the size of the house. And if you assume that Derek and Laura got life insurance money from everyone who died (which is depressing as hell), then they have a lot of money to throw around. But what else does Derek do with his life? Does he just stalk out teenagers who want to be turned and sit in his new apartment, hoping that life will be better? What happens when his family’s money runs out? Does he have references to ever get a job and, if so, how will he explain a two-three year absense from the work force?

…Anyway, the end of the episode was actually really sweet. From Scott talking as to why he wanted his tattoo (it was sweet. Less sweet when I knew that Tyler already had that tattoo and it meant less make up for the make up team to cover it up, but sweet), and how Scott was asking Derek for help for something, even if it meant BLOWTORCH TIME. Though I don’t know why Derek had Stiles hold him down. He’s not doing a good job of it. And couldn’t that have burned Stiles by being so close to the flame??

derek hale, tyler hoechlin, teen wolf, alpha, omg no

Also the fact that his eyes made a “SHING” sound when they turned red. Really? (image: http://felcieinfangirlland.tumblr.com/)

Alas. These boys. I will never understand.

Derek tries to hide the existence of an Alpha pack from Scott but lol, Scott gives no fucks about Derek’s family’s home so he easily destroys a door to find the symbol. But was he really not going to say anything? Didn’t they learn last season that trusting one another is how to save the day, not hoping others don’t find out?

But you also have the sad notion that Derek wants Scott to try and be a kid. Go off and go to school. Don’t fight this battle. A battle that Derek is totally okay fighting himself, as well as roping Isaac into. …Wait that’s rude, Isaac is a kid too.

derek hale, tyler hoechlin, alpha, poor boy, teen wolf

I feel like Derek will never catch a break. And that’s actually really sad. (image: http://thagirlwhocan.tumblr.com/)

The episode is almost done, but not with Kickass Black Woman burning a sign onto Allison and Lydia’s arm that leads to Boyd and Erica! Which is interesting because apparently Erica’s actress is off the show but I SUPPOSE WE WILL SEE. I’m excited. I’m all about not randomly killing off people.

And finally we get a good look at Deucalion, who I’ve been calling De-Lucan which is totally wrong. He, as mentioned previously, is a voice actor from Final Fantasy XII and seriously, that’s all I can hear. It’s beautiful. I was almost okay with him killing people because of that voice but it just so happened to be the new kickass black woman SO I’M LESS HAPPY. But both she and he bring up good points. If Scott is the “chosen one” the defeat the Alpha pack, I will roll my eyes. I love when shit happens and you have to deal. Like werewolf powers.

FUCKING BALTHIER, gideon emery, deucalion, yes

And his introduction was simply HIM and wonderful and man I’m already going to regret my love for him, aren’t I? (image: http://4evermyavalon.tumblr.com/)

But Deucalion needs to watch his back. Does he realize how many villians have been defeated because they were like “lol I’m not afraid of any kids.”

But the way he’s been seen to attack people, I am kind of afraid.

SO! My opinons on the first episode. I am really excited to see that the funny elements of the show are still apparent, even with the more serious tone that this season is taking. I can’t wait to see the next episode June 10th and 10pm, and you should see it too.

Snarky Derek is my Kryptonite.

derek hale, tyler hoechlin, teen wolf

Oh Derek. Your snark is delicious. (image: http://thagirlwhocan.tumblr.com/)

Next Episode: Teen Wolf 3×02 – Chaos Rising

4 Responses to “RECAP: Teen Wolf – Tattoo”

  1. Africana June 8, 2013 at 12:08 am #

    omg thank you! twins are soooo not attractive. & finally a badass person!! damn black girl was like ‘im on the runway beating the crap outta less attractive people’. allllsssooo, WHERE IS MY TRUE LOVE PETER HALE IN ALL THIS??? PETER??

  2. Anonymous July 7, 2013 at 4:05 am #

    Actually they really are twins: Max and Charlie carver on the FANtastic show lol not trying to sound rude just letting you know.

  3. Anonymous August 5, 2013 at 2:35 pm #

    Who plays the merged alpha

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  1. RECAP: Teen Wolf – Chaos Rising | just a cute bookworm - June 11, 2013

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