RECAP: Teen Wolf – Chaos Rising

Welcome to the second edition of I try to be witty while pointing out things that make me scratch my head during the recent episode of Teen Wolf Season 3! If you’ve seen 3×02, come take a gander. If not… go watch it, and then come back and be confused with me.

In fun random news, did you know Stiles’ dad was in Mortal Kombat as Johnny Cage? WELL NOW YOU DO.

I literally cannot.

I have so many problems with this Heather character. We’re supposed to …what for her? Should I feel bad for her that she got kidnapped/murdered? I just met her. What I think blows my mind was the fact that Stiles has know this girl for a large part of his life, right? Then why has she never been brought up before ever and we’re made to think that Scott and Stiles are each other’s only friends (practically)? Since when has this girl seen what Stiles has looked like? Am I supposed to really believe that she would stay in her own creepy basement when she should go WITH Stiles to get the condoms or, heck, MAKE STILES STAY DOWN STAIRS WHILE SHE GOT THEM?

On the other hand, she was apparently stepping in glass while freaking out so I feel bad.

Wait she makes out with Dylan O’Brien, I feel less bad. (image: http://xcoraline.tumblr.com/)

But she better not be dead because that would be two dead females in two weeks and I CAN’T HANDLE THAT.

We have a returning guest actress and man is she fierce. That look she focuses on Scott before walking away was pure gold. But wait. She goes to a rival school, right? Or another school at least. What was she doing at Lydia’s house party in 2×09, or are we supposed to ignore that fact, and just revel in her fierceness?

I’m okay with the fierce. (image: http://redwynez.tumblr.com/)

Did Stiles seriously not ask anyone upstairs about where Heather was, considering she left her shoes behind? SERIOUSLY? Stiles you are the worst friend of this girl that you’re supposed to be super close to. Also two fun facts to think about – Was that Stiles’ first kiss? And were they really going to have sex, either up against some wine bottles or on the basement floor?

That doesn’t look mightly comfy. (image: http://red-hoodie-maniac.tumblr.com/)

In other pathetic people news, I feel so bad for Derek. Literally, no one trusts him to do anything, and to be honest, I wouldn’t either. He’s way to impulsive, cocky when he has nothing to back it up, and vaguely good looking. The good looking part has nothing to do with it, but he is. But Isaac bluntly states that he trusts Scott and Derek has to ask point blank if Isaac trusts him. At this rate, people are going to trust Peter more than they trust Derek. At least he thinks things through. …I think I mentioned this last week, but why does Derek tell Scott to stay out of the fight if he’s totally okay with Isaac being in it? Rude.

Granted, if this was what he was being promised, then I can see why Isaac wasn’t trusting Derek. (image: http://teenhowl.tumblr.com/)

(Fun fact, Isaac’s actor is two years older than Derek’s!)

If there were awards for the worst leader of all of supernatural television… I’m not sure Derek would win but I think he’d be in the top ten. Though I will award him some points back for being able to counter Peter’s sass, and let’s be honest, there is a lot of sass within this family. Granted, Peter’s sass is kind of adorable, but then you remember that it’s his fault that all of this is happening (mudering Laura, turning Scott into a werewolf, coming back to life…) and the adorable factor dies out.

I personally loved the confrontation scene, because when it boils down, everyone in Teen Wolf is really out to get Derek. So I fully understand where he is coming fromt with his anger. But Stiles, remembering the “maiming but not killing!” is not the best way to get on anyone’s side. Just so you know.

Also I’d buy a ticket to that gun show. (image: http://scotthealpha.tumblr.com/)

I wish Lydia could DO more things showing off how awesome she is, like making more Molotov cocktails, instead of just telling us information she knows. Also Allison didn’t know that her mom tried to off Scott? WOW this is going to be an awkward conversation while they do finally have it.

As much as I love this man, HOW IS FINSTOCK STILL TEACHING. I thought he taught economics. Does he teach all the business classes? Man, at my high school, the sports teachers only did history. Why is the stock market taught in an intro to business class? And even if it is, that’s not how you teach the stock market. Throwing coins doesn’t help.

And can we PLEASE get some proof that Greenberg is just figment of Finstock’s imagination?? Because as funny as I find it, I’m afraid that Greenberg is going to be like, the final villain in the show – a ghost who has been in Beacon Hills this entire time, sick of being ignored by everyone but Finstock and goes crazy.

The way this man treats him, it could happen. (image: http://stinsonbarney.tumblr.com/)

Can we please please PLEASE tell Sheriff Stilinksi what the hell is going on in Beacon Hills? Jackson’s family never removed the restraining order against Stiles and Scott, have they? How does this even look to the police station that Stiles is invovled with so many cases? And on that note, what did they have to say to refill the Beacon Hills police department with cops again? You’d think that the murder of everyone in the police station would possibly cause people to not want to be transfered there, but alas! You’d be wrong.

I mean, maybe one day he’ll learn. (image: http://redwynez.tumblr.com/)

Allison is going a little crazy over that mark, but at least she has the right idea. If someone was able to practically burn a specific mark onto your arm and you didn’t go a little crazy trying to figure out what it meant, especially if you live in a world of werewolves, kanima, and apparently magic, you’re just being dumb.  Also, “QuikLookUp?”  What, was Google too expensive to have as product placement? I mean, Dylan O’Brien is in a movie about Google, is it really that hard to use? (Probably)

REALLY? And logos is spelled wrong?? (image: http://wishingonablackstar.tumblr.com/)

Lydia and Danny, on the other hand, are attempting to inform the viewers of this show that YES, the twins are attractive as hell. I’m still in shock they’re on my television screens every week because, ew. And pretending that they’re attractive (or even young enough to be in high school) is kind of embarrassing  Seriously. Does no one else in Beacon Hills even notice how old the people are that attend the high school?

Oh no. (image: http://fydethan.tumblr.com/)

When we are reminding about the missing Heather from the beginning of the episode, I am struck with confusion. I would understand if Stilies felt bad because he was with this girl last, but literally we never heard of this girl until recently. Stiles had very few friends in the first two seasons because he was a dork/nerd/loser whatever. Suddenly he’s attractive and now he has a whole backstory with people? On that note, why did the girl even invite him to her birthday party? I know people I’ve been friends with since elementary school and I wouldnt go to their birthday parties if I hadn’t seen them in years.

One thing I find amazing is the fact that so many of the torture scenes from the trailer were done by friends. Like Stiles holding down Scott, or the ice scene. It’s like… if the main characters are doing this to each other, what is going to happen when the ACTUAL villians torture them?

ALSO HOLY GOD IN HELL THAT CONDOM. How is it THAT big. I know condoms can strech a lot but the base of it on Stiles arm has leeway which means it’s too big for Stiles’ arm. If he and that Heather girl did have sex, that would have been SO awkward when they pulled that monster condom out.

Edit: thank you friend. So, Stiles is wearing a latex glove because his hand would not be able to move like that. The fact that we were analyzing the movement of what could potentially be a giant condom is why my friends are awesome.

LIKE SERIOUSLY HOLY HELL. (image: http://jaredsasquatch.tumblr.com/)

The whole information pulling ice sequence was …quite an experience. We have Derek both attempting and failing at being a good leader in trying to reminding Isaac that he doesn’t have to do this, before later almost sending him into shock by yelling at Isaac when he should be staying quiet. Isaac’s need to rip off his shirt to get into the ice water, but not his pants (or to keep both on) even though Isaac isn’t ripped enough for me to care.

But he looks serene so under all that ice! (image: http://ooh-i-like.tumblr.com/)

But what is the most fun is DEATON. He has gone from just being crytic to being crazy. He was so calm when they were shoving Isaac into the water that it makes you almost wonder how many times has he done this before? Why did he know about this technique and why he is so okay with students being almost killed to figure out information? Granted, this is the man who stared down an Alpha and Gerard without flinching so I guess Dr. Deaton is a badass, plain and simple.

I wouldn’t fuck with him. (image: http://weecesting.tumblr.com/)

Okay, here’s something I really don’t understand about Derek’s character. So… I understand he sits around in abandoned shitty places for a long time. But assumedly  before his family died, they were well off. Granted that was 6-7 years ago. BUT. What in gods name was he doing between his family burning and his current state? He obviously has a cell phone so it’s not like he’s new to technology. But did he and Laura live in the wild with no technology for six years? How does he NOT know what/how to use the internet? And it’s not even this episode. There’s the episode where Peter was researching the Kanima last season. PETER. WHO WAS IN A COMA, is better at the internet than Derek is. THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.

You know, after all that Stiles was invovled in last year, you’d think that Sherrif Stilinski would not be handing out maps to bank vaults nor telling his son how the robbers broke into one. But hey. You never know.

I mean, seriously? (image: mtv.com)

I will admit. I love Stiles and I hate how Derek thinks he knows it all, but that punch was satisfying for me. I mean, holy hell, have you missed the mass of muscles that Derek has bugling under his shirt and the fact that he’s an Alpha werewolf? Just in case you did BOOM, RAW POWER. Hee hee.

Once again, Peter has been proving that, despite the terrible shit he’s done in past seasons, he’s actually one of the more intelligent characters in this show. Their group isn’t  powerful enough and they’re going in with way too little information. If they had stopped to think about what the hell was going on, maybe they would have been able to save them. Granted, this would have been called Cautious Wolf instead of Teen Wolf, but STILL.

Wait a minute. Miss Morell and Dr Deaton were working together at the end of the last season so either Deaton’s pure calm yet evil nature is actually because he is evil or they’re working against the Alpha pack. I’d like to know more about that. I’d like to know more about the Alpha pack and can we just SLAP Derek upside the head for being the worst leader in all of history? Because I would surprisingly be okay with that.

I mean, something is obviously going on but still. Home girl knows how to work it. (image: http://bombdaughter.tumblr.com/)

I realize that show asks you to suspend my disbelives a lot but I’m not buying that Kali would NOT have realized that Allison (or someone) was hiding in that closet when she walked past. Yes, she was able to spill the ammonia to hide her scent, and maybe even Erica’s dead body might have masked it. But Allison’s heart had to be beating a million of miles a minute, plus that “silent but not really” breathing she was doing. Or the scream that she had when, you know, she found Erica’s BODY. YOU WOULD THINK SOMEONE IN THIS ALPHA PACK MIGHT HAVE HEARD HER.

Things I don’t buy. (image: http://verydistinctcranium.tumblr.com/)

The jab about the werewolves having secret lairs was adorable. Looking around Derek’s place, you would think that. His couch is dusty as hell, like he spent all his money on the loft and decided to go hunting for furnature by seeing what colleges kids threw on the streets. Or maybe that’s from his family’s home? Oh gosh, that depressing really fast.

In other housing news, how did Peter get an apartment? Was he legally declared dead when Derek killed him? Wasn’t he in a coma for the past six or so years? How did he have the credit to even GET the apartment? But all that thinking is naught when Peter and Stiles use dramatic camera turns to discover and inform Derek and Scott about the shit they’re about to get into.

Though it’s still really, really funny. (image: http://jessramblings.tumblr.com/)

But that ending was so sad and raises a fuck ton of questions: How did Cora get out of the family’s home in time to not die? What is going to happen to Beacon Hills with two crazy ass werewolves on the loose? When did Cora get kidnapped/taken/willing go with Deucalion? In what kind of family that has names like Peter, Derek, and Laura do we get CORA? How will Allison react to her father not telling her that her mom tried to murder her boyfriend?

As much as I make fun of this show, the emotion Derek portrayed on his face was actually really really well done. Poor boy. (image: http://hoechlined.tumblr.com/)

WHAT ABOUT GERARD AND THE MOUNTAIN ASH? HAS EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW FORGOTTEN HE HAS ESCAPED?

I hope that this season continues on as dark and destructive as it has been, and that the Alpha pack does more than their  transformers routine. I want to see people kicking some ass and not just of a character that will literally die two seconds later (I’m still mad). Regardless, it’s Teen Wolf. What did I expect.

Check in next to see Season 3, Episode 3 – Fireflies, when Derek and Scott seek help from an unexpected ally. I hope it’s Gerard.

I still love this picture

Previous Episode: Teen Wolf: 3×01 – Tattoo
Next Episode: Teen Wolf: 3×03 – Fireflies